Having looked at the right romance in marriage, a good practical exercise to fan the flame of romance is to openly discuss what you would like your spouse to ‘do’ with or for you to demonstrate the kind love described above. Certainly, many unrealistic expectations, selfish attitudes and careless habits will need to change in order to kindle that love. In marriage there will be problems, challenges and fresh friction. Couples, who claim they haven’t had an argument in years, either have a poor memory or a dull life to recall! Let me suggest at least seven steps that can ignite or help us maintain the depth of that first love God put in us for the other:
1. Forgive one another of past failures, hurts and shortcomings. Accept the other as a fellow-heir of God’s gracious gift of life (1Pet.3:7).
2. Romance is falling in love again & again, with the same person (Col.2:2). Value your relationship and don’t allow ‘real’ life interrupt your ‘romantic’ life.
3. Make time, you won’t ‘find’ it, to be with and do things with your spouse; Couples can ‘together’ enjoy learning, growing and serving Christ (Phil.1:27)
4. Be sensitive and attentive to the other’s needs & creatively show ‘I love you’
5. Keep short accounts with each other; be transparent and maintain integrity
6. Grace creates a deep sense of gratitude to God for a partner to share life’s experiences, good & bad and calls for courtesy, consideration and support
7. If you both want to show (off) something; show the honor and respect that God expects of couples which will reflect Jesus Christ’s love for his own!
It is not a bad idea, especially when God is dealing with Christian couples regarding their covenantal love, to renew the marriage vows we once said to one another. You may want to do so with the words expressed below and believe me; they are ‘romantic’ in deed!
I (M) take you (F) to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, knowing in my heart that you will be a faithful friend and a true and loving companion. On this special day, in the presence of God, our friends as witnesses, I give you my sacred vows as your husband/wife. I will always be with you to support you in times of sickness and heath, joy and sorrow… I promise to love you completely, to comfort and console you during difficult times, to encourage you to achieve your full potential, to laugh with you and grieve with you, to share with you life’s simplest yet most enduring pleasures, to be truthful and honest with you and to cherish you as long as we both live.